I miss you a lot. I'm pretty sure I tell you that whenever we talk, haha but it's true. I can't wait to see you again (coughspringbreaksleepovercough). I'll call you sometime soon, when you're not busy so we can catch up on all the craziness that is our lives. You said you wanted a message so I think this is what you meant...I think?
WE’LL SEE :) that friday might not be good. so i’ll work something out with you.
John 2:16-17 – “And said unto them that sold doves, take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise. And His disciples remembered that it was written, the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.”
Then the disciples remembered that it was written, the zeal of Thine…
wow. this is something i’ve been struggling for a while.
“Since we all came from a women, got our name from a women, and our game from a women. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, cus if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies. And since a man can’t make one he has no right to tell a women when and where to create one.”—Tupac Shakur
John 2:15 – “Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and oxen, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables.” (NLT)
Whenever you and I hear the word meek, our minds tend to think weak. But meek is…
someone’s impression of me was meek and i had no idea what that meant.
I don't even want to know how you found your way into my tumblr because min isn't in school and my password definitely isn't saved on your tumblr but none of that matters because that post made me extremely happy (:
thank you geena, i love you :D <3
keke :) magic.
no but min did come to school. he missed anthropology though. I’M GLAD IT DID! love you too<3
Day 29 - The most recent dream you remember in detail
It’s the kind of dream that feels so real. When you wake up, it felt like it actually happened.
It was about a guy.
It started off with a phone call with him. Don’t really remember how it went but I was smiling a lot and somehow my relationship status was in a relationship with him. Got into school one day and saw him. We were talking and the all of a sudden he puts his hand out in front of me and I grab it and we’re holding hands.
Then the next thing I remember is he gets into a car accident and his left hand got really injured and his right hand was kind of bloody. I think I was there when it happened because he put his hand out in front of me again and I grabbed it but this time it was bloody. I remember thinking ‘I didn’t care’ and immediately grabbed it.
Another day in school and I walked him to class. I think I was waiting outside towards the end of class for him to get out but we were texting during that moment. One of his texts said ‘I want you to keep texting me until I get out of class. I want to see the name PRISCILLA on my phone’ I didn’t get that at first but i remember for some reason I was using something of priscilla’s… Priscilla is my brother’s girlfriend. He reads the spam text I sent him and he smiles. It was so vivid, I remember the sweater he was wearing. He comes out and we go to his locker. I went to his locker first so i can help open it but I went to the wrong locker. His locker was next to it which is kind of broken. In order for it to open he has to bang on it. He couldn’t bang it with his non-broken hand so I tried. Then he tried banging it with his broken hand stupidly but it worked. But the way it opened was it bent open from the top.. And I remember thinking in my head, why don’t you put your stuff in my locker over at kiely? (kiely is a building at qc o-o), but I didn’t say it to him because he finished and walked off grabbing his arm.
Then the next time I met up with one of my best friends, and we were at some birthday thing and the conversation went something like this:
Angela: “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND?!” Me: “what boyfriend” I was sincerely confused. Angela: it says on facebook! Me: *I think back to when it happened and it was a couple of days ago.* oh yeah haha Angela: you’re supposed to tell your best friends everything first
Then it stopped there.
I really liked him in my dream. And I still feel it.. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I had this dream like.. a week ago? a week and a half maybe.. and it’s still pretty vivid.
midterms. exam. large group. must clean & set up. final. how am i going to study for all of this. regional DPD meeting saturday. dentist appointment. friend’s talent show. gethsemane. summer missions. mom. fashion show. why am i so pissed off. every time i see your name or face i have a bitter feeling, i feel pain. why do i care so much. i have to study. why do you make me worry. my mom has yet to talk to me. i’m exhausted physically, mentally, & emotionally. must lose weight. need to get back into shape. my health problem. study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study
i’m planning on being an elementary education major. with that, i have to double major so that and speech pathology. so when i can’t find a job as a teacher, i can always fall back to being a speech pathologist. job? set.
i also wanted to teach english as a second language and go to Korea and teach english there for a year and see how it goes. depending on how i liked it, i was gonna stay there till whenever.
i have a few posters i haven’t put up.. maybe i’ll put them in my other place far east movement, ISA concert signed poster, big bang, jay park, my 18th ginormous birthday card my yg made me, and my middle school picture.
My father, the one who will reject me going anywhere without supervision. The one who didn’t let me go to missions 2 years in a row. The one who loves me and wouldn’t let me go out to known danger.. said yes.
My dad will not let me go anywhere out of country, not even out of state, with anyone he doesn’t know. The first year I was allowed to go to mexico missions, I had to argue with him to let me go. He finally let me go because he got to know my youth pastor. The second year, although it was a bit last minute I had a chance to go, but he still said no.
Recently, another opportunity was given to me to go onto missions with KCCC.. and this one was even farther than Mexico. I remember listening to one of the staffs describing each country, and out of all the countries, my heart was calling out to Thailand.
I knew getting permission from my parents was going to be a bit difficult but I went for it anyway. I thought my mom would be easier to get a yes from (not because she cares for missions.. she just doesn’t care) than my dad but they were equally difficult. I had to go through fighting with both parents, constant tears, pain, hurt, and A LOT of prayer. The most difficult part about this whole experience, it kept bringing up past hurt that I buried way down in my heart.
After saying everything I wanted to say to my dad, how his girlfriend supports me and knows my heart more than he does. And that I had a really strong desire to go on to missions. God convicted me to go. Although there are dangerous situations with Japan and the countries around it, he has to trust God and we have a lot of time before we can say anything. And besides my health problem (I’ve been constantly burping for the last month and a half.. gross yes but it’s not that kind of burp. It’s more spasms? I guess), I told him I’d go to my next testing but what my mom didn’t tell him was putting me under anesthesia is a big risk. But I’ll go anyway and if it doesn’t require immediate action then I’d rather go on “burping” for another 3 months for God. And how I feel about bringing people to Christ and has no way to getting to Him is FAR more important than my own health. Although it may require surgery, I trust in Him that He has something greater planned for me during missions.
He said he’d talk to my mom the following morning. I texted him the following day asking if he had talked to her, he said “yes, I told her yes for you to go to missions” and that she’ll talk to me when I get home from school. I was shocked. Did God just answer my prayers? Did He open up my father’s heart? My heart and mind were having a dance party throughout the day rejoicing and thanking God for everything. He answered my prayers, He changed the heart of my father who wouldn’t even let me go onto missions with my own church, but now he’s letting me to go onto missions with people he doesn’t even know.
But when I got home, just as I expected, my mother didn’t talk to me. It was quite the opposite, she was avoiding me. I’ve felt this from her ever since that first talk we had about missions. I honestly don’t understand her. The feelings I get off of her is she doesn’t care about me and sometimes she doesn’t even love me. She’d rather be with her new family she created. So what’s her reasoning behind not letting me go to missions.. You confusing woman ._. BUT EITHER WAY. God is moving. I just have to keep praying.
- QT - Music Midterm pt. 1 (03.23) - Read More Than A Carpenter & write a reflection paper (03.25) - RETREAT! (03.25-26) - Physics homework (03.27) - Music Midterm pt. 2 (03.28) - Anthro Midterm (03.29) - Physics Exam (03.30) - Study for BDT final (4SL pg. 8-10 + all lecture notes) (04.01)
i know absolutely NOTHING.
on top of that, i’m still waiting on my dad’s response for missions. & i’m still emotionally struggling.